I don't spend a lot of time reading a great number of blogs,
but there are those that I follow pretty faithfully.
Pioneer Woman has basically taught me how to cook.
Trust me, that was no small feat.
I tend to read a lot of the same ones that Sister Two reads:
and
However, I was trolling through Bakerella's
site via Pioneer Woman and ended up at Cake Wrecks.
What a hilarious site!
I copied a few samples for you ---
but be sure to check the whole site out.
I easily spent four hours laughing my ass off.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Nah, These Won't Traumatize the Kids at ALL
These cakes are all quite nicely done. I'm sure that will be of some comfort to the kids when they're in therapy.
Sock-hop it to me, Audrey R.!
Yes, happy birthday, girls, from Headless Flo and her Tinker-Toy Poodle Skirt of Probable Misfortune. ("Doom" was taken.)
Now, who wants ice cream?
"No, no, Patrick, the dinosaur isn't trying to eat you. He's here to party!"
See? Look at that cute little party hat! It really bring out his razor sharp teeth, don't you think, Selah?
Speaking of teeth...
This looks like the aftermath of a fairy-tale massacre, or in other words, a-DOR-able! [sing-song voice] Say, Arloe S., is that middle pig coming or going?
[announcer voice] "Hey parents, are you tired of boring, peaceful birthday parties? Want to add a little more excitement back into to the one-year celebration? Then ask for the Dead Elephant special!"
[Kids yelling] "Yay! Dead elephants!"
[announcer] "That's right, kids! Yes, these delectable globs of deceased pachyderms tell the world: this party is gonna be killer!
"Side effects may include screaming, crying, thumb-sucking, sweating, itchy palms, irritable bowel, and a life-long fear of blue animals. Not recommended for children with nervous constitutions or sensitive bladders. Dead elephants are not responsible for any damages - real or imagined - done to your children. Void where prohibited, all rights reserved."
Obviously someone needed to rein in this woman during the wedding planning. What kind of ego does it require to commission a life-sized replica of yourself in cake? But what really baffles me is this: the details are exact right down to the hair clip, so what the heck is UP with that tacky red rick-rack down the skirt of the cake? "Sure, we hand-painted a matching bodice-design, copied the make-up and hairstyle, and have identical veils - but then we thought this giant rick-rack would add just the right extra touch!" ?!?
Obviously Bridezilla shares my opinion: she's eying that red trim with murder in her eyes.
Not all Cake Wrecks are a result of poor construction, as you can see from this example. Some cake artists just seem to forget that, at the end of the day, their creation is meant to be eaten. Can you seriously imagine being told to slice up and serve this cake?
And baby shower cakes seem to be the worst offenders in this vein. People, try to think outside the box, will you? Just because the occasion has "baby" in the name doesn't mean the cake has to BE a baby, mmkay? You don't see bridal shower cakes made to look like the bride, do you? Oh, wait - scratch that example...
But getting back to this cake - I think the worst part is that the baby is staring at me. No, really - check out the right eye. [shudder] Dang, that would be spine-tingling even if it were a real baby, you know? (And can you imagine being the person who gets served that eye? Eeeek- I'm going to give myself nightmares.) Call me finicky, but I really can't eat anything that looks like its looking at me.
Still not creeped out? Then watch the video of this cake's construction. The final few seconds are the stuff horror flicks are made of ("The eye! It's opening! Aaauggh!!!).
Egads, people, what is going on at today's baby showers?!? First the boobie cake, then the edible baby, and now this!
Obviously, this is wrong on a level so VERY wrong that it doesn't really need elaboration. However, I feel compelled to point out that the, er, "mom" here has the face of a blow-up doll, is completely nekkid (is that a new trend in delivery rooms?), and is anatomically correct where you wouldn't expect her to be (ergo the censor bars - sorry, fellas!).
I'm picturing the games they played at this baby shower: "Pin the Epidural", "Catch the After-birth", and of course the ever popular "Guess Whose Hoo-Haw?". Yeesh - just what do you suppose the party favors were? No, wait, let's not go there...
(Liz P., thanks for sharing - I think.)
UPDATE: I am both surprised and amused at the number of you moms out there who have let it be known that not only is the whole "nekkid" delivery thing in vogue, but you have partaken of the activity yourself. A little TMI, yes, but I can honestly say I've learned something here. (Never post nekkid fondant figures again. Like, ever.)
Sock-hop it to me, Audrey R.!
Yes, happy birthday, girls, from Headless Flo and her Tinker-Toy Poodle Skirt of Probable Misfortune. ("Doom" was taken.)Now, who wants ice cream?
"No, no, Patrick, the dinosaur isn't trying to eat you. He's here to party!"
See? Look at that cute little party hat! It really bring out his razor sharp teeth, don't you think, Selah?Speaking of teeth...
This looks like the aftermath of a fairy-tale massacre, or in other words, a-DOR-able! [sing-song voice] Say, Arloe S., is that middle pig coming or going?
[announcer voice] "Hey parents, are you tired of boring, peaceful birthday parties? Want to add a little more excitement back into to the one-year celebration? Then ask for the Dead Elephant special!"
[Kids yelling] "Yay! Dead elephants!"[announcer] "That's right, kids! Yes, these delectable globs of deceased pachyderms tell the world: this party is gonna be killer!
"Side effects may include screaming, crying, thumb-sucking, sweating, itchy palms, irritable bowel, and a life-long fear of blue animals. Not recommended for children with nervous constitutions or sensitive bladders. Dead elephants are not responsible for any damages - real or imagined - done to your children. Void where prohibited, all rights reserved."
I laughed at this one until I literally cried:
Saturday, May 31, 2008
When Brides Have No Budget (Or Taste)
Obviously someone needed to rein in this woman during the wedding planning. What kind of ego does it require to commission a life-sized replica of yourself in cake? But what really baffles me is this: the details are exact right down to the hair clip, so what the heck is UP with that tacky red rick-rack down the skirt of the cake? "Sure, we hand-painted a matching bodice-design, copied the make-up and hairstyle, and have identical veils - but then we thought this giant rick-rack would add just the right extra touch!" ?!?
Obviously Bridezilla shares my opinion: she's eying that red trim with murder in her eyes.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
The Creepiness Continues
Not all Cake Wrecks are a result of poor construction, as you can see from this example. Some cake artists just seem to forget that, at the end of the day, their creation is meant to be eaten. Can you seriously imagine being told to slice up and serve this cake?
And baby shower cakes seem to be the worst offenders in this vein. People, try to think outside the box, will you? Just because the occasion has "baby" in the name doesn't mean the cake has to BE a baby, mmkay? You don't see bridal shower cakes made to look like the bride, do you? Oh, wait - scratch that example...
But getting back to this cake - I think the worst part is that the baby is staring at me. No, really - check out the right eye. [shudder] Dang, that would be spine-tingling even if it were a real baby, you know? (And can you imagine being the person who gets served that eye? Eeeek- I'm going to give myself nightmares.) Call me finicky, but I really can't eat anything that looks like its looking at me.
Still not creeped out? Then watch the video of this cake's construction. The final few seconds are the stuff horror flicks are made of ("The eye! It's opening! Aaauggh!!!).
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
The First Censored Cake Wreck
Egads, people, what is going on at today's baby showers?!? First the boobie cake, then the edible baby, and now this!
Obviously, this is wrong on a level so VERY wrong that it doesn't really need elaboration. However, I feel compelled to point out that the, er, "mom" here has the face of a blow-up doll, is completely nekkid (is that a new trend in delivery rooms?), and is anatomically correct where you wouldn't expect her to be (ergo the censor bars - sorry, fellas!).
I'm picturing the games they played at this baby shower: "Pin the Epidural", "Catch the After-birth", and of course the ever popular "Guess Whose Hoo-Haw?". Yeesh - just what do you suppose the party favors were? No, wait, let's not go there...
(Liz P., thanks for sharing - I think.)
UPDATE: I am both surprised and amused at the number of you moms out there who have let it be known that not only is the whole "nekkid" delivery thing in vogue, but you have partaken of the activity yourself. A little TMI, yes, but I can honestly say I've learned something here. (Never post nekkid fondant figures again. Like, ever.)
2 comments:
Just disturbing sister one.
OMG! Thank you for making me laugh tonight!! I am hoping the dead elephants would help keep those small children from being republicans when they grow up! :-)
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