A Whole New Level of Insanity

As you know, today is the day that the school board 

is going to discuss the possibility of closing our little school.

I believe it is just a formality.

Consolidating the two schools is a sound business decision.

I believe they chose the wrong one, but I am a bit biased.

So tell me, why would I travel to another state 

and buy 332 books to add to my collection

that I'm going to have to move?

Oh, but it was a spectacular sale.  

Those Phi Delta Gammas know how to hold a book sale.

We arrived early.  It was cold so we didn't get into line immediately.

Of course, I couldn't stand it and finally braved the cold temps.

I was about fifteenth in line ---

a line that snaked around the building
and was two and a half blocks long! 

 (Can you say claustrophobia once we got inside?!) 

Mardell and I make a great team.

She got a shopping cart and I sorted through boxes of books.

You wouldn't believe how many small children
I had to elbow out of the way!

It was an incredible sale and I found lots of great titles.

I added a significant number of Newbery Award Winners to our collection.

I also found about a dozen poetry books.

That's always a good thing.

And guess what?

The Casper Public Library is having a huge sale on March 28th!

I can hardly wait! 

If You're In Need Of A Good Laugh

I don't spend a lot of time reading a great number of blogs, 

but there are those that I follow pretty faithfully.  

Pioneer Woman has basically taught me how to cook.

Trust me, that was no small feat.

I tend to read a lot of the same ones that Sister Two reads:

Our Travels 

The Country Doctor's Wife  

and 

Cindy Dyer's Blog

 However, I was trolling through Bakerella's 

site via Pioneer Woman and ended up at Cake Wrecks.

 What a hilarious site!

I copied a few samples for you --- 

but be sure to check the whole site out. 

I easily spent four hours laughing my ass off. 

Monday, March 2, 2009

Nah, These Won't Traumatize the Kids at ALL

These cakes are all quite nicely done. I'm sure that will be of some comfort to the kids when they're in therapy.

Sock-hop it to me, Audrey R.!

Yes, happy birthday, girls, from Headless Flo and her Tinker-Toy Poodle Skirt of Probable Misfortune. ("Doom" was taken.)

Now, who wants ice cream?


"No, no, Patrick, the dinosaur isn't trying to eat you. He's here to party!"

See? Look at that cute little party hat! It really bring out his razor sharp teeth, don't you think, Selah?

Speaking of teeth...


This looks like the aftermath of a fairy-tale massacre, or in other words, a-DOR-able! [sing-song voice] Say, Arloe S., is that middle pig coming or going?


[announcer voice] "Hey parents, are you tired of boring, peaceful birthday parties? Want to add a little more excitement back into to the one-year celebration? Then ask for the Dead Elephant special!"

[Kids yelling] "Yay! Dead elephants!"

[announcer] "That's right, kids! Yes, these delectable globs of deceased pachyderms tell the world: this party is gonna be killer!

"Side effects may include screaming, crying, thumb-sucking, sweating, itchy palms, irritable bowel, and a life-long fear of blue animals. Not recommended for children with nervous constitutions or sensitive bladders. Dead elephants are not responsible for any damages - real or imagined - done to your children. Void where prohibited, all rights reserved."

I laughed at this one until I literally cried:

Saturday, May 31, 2008

When Brides Have No Budget (Or Taste)

Obviously someone needed to rein in this woman during the wedding planning. What kind of ego does it require to commission a life-sized replica of yourself in cake? But what really baffles me is this: the details are exact right down to the hair clip, so what the heck is UP with that tacky red rick-rack down the skirt of the cake? "Sure, we hand-painted a matching bodice-design, copied the make-up and hairstyle, and have identical veils - but then we thought this giant rick-rack would add just the right extra touch!" ?!?

Obviously Bridezilla shares my opinion: she's eying that red trim with murder in her eyes.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The First Censored Cake Wreck

Egads, people, what is going on at today's baby showers?!? First the boobie cake, then the edible baby, and now this!

Obviously, this is wrong on a level so VERY wrong that it doesn't really need elaboration. However, I feel compelled to point out that the, er, "mom" here has the face of a blow-up doll, is completely nekkid (is that a new trend in delivery rooms?), and is anatomically correct where you wouldn't expect her to be (ergo the censor bars - sorry, fellas!).

I'm picturing the games they played at this baby shower: "Pin the Epidural", "Catch the After-birth", and of course the ever popular "Guess Whose Hoo-Haw?". Yeesh - just what do you suppose the party favors were? No, wait, let's not go there...


(Liz P., thanks for sharing - I think.)

UPDATE: I am both surprised and amused at the number of you moms out there who have let it be known that not only is the whole "nekkid" delivery thing in vogue, but you have partaken of the activity yourself. A little TMI, yes, but I can honestly say I've learned something here. (Never post nekkid fondant figures again. Like, ever.)

A Western Find

We are knee deep in calving season or is it waist deep.

The cowboys (not Sister Two) have been busy the last few weeks with calving duties.

(Okay we don't have a single long horn on our ranch, but I will tell you more about this picture later)

So it's not uncommon for us to be at the calving barn hanging out, and helping when necessary.

We are fortunate that the calving barn is outfitted

with an office, so you can kick back

and relax for a minute or make a snack.

During one of those "minutes" while I was relaxing,

I was looking through an old issue of the American Cowboy magazine that someone had left behind.

It was the first time I had ever looked at this particular magazine. It has some amazing pictures of different areas of our fine country and some good recipes.

At the back of the magazine there was ads for different things you can purchase.

One of the ads was for the Brighton Feed and Saddlery.

http://www.brightonsaddlery.com/

As most of you know, I don't ride horses.So shopping for a saddle probably isn't what excited me.

This is what I spied that I thought was so neat

cups,

plates,

and this super cool serving tray (love this).

What is this you ask? It is called Ranch Life Stoneware, and it depicts the Old American West.

As my other sisters will tell you, sister two does not need any new dishes. Because of a love affair with fiesta ware.

But I was thinking, that one of the projects available

for 4-H is table setting. I think this is would make great tableware for such a project.

Now I only have to convince one of my two daughters to take this project, and then direct them to

my cook book collection (my other love affair)

to plan the acopymaning menu.

Of course that would be "Beef ..... it's what for dinner".

When It Rains, It Pours

On Tuesday night we had conferences at school.

They went very, very well. 

We had about four to go when we receive a message to

call our administrator before we left the school.  

It was important that we were both on the line.

(That's always a little bit scary in and of itself, but

you really have to know our boss to fully understand.)

We had about ten minutes before our last 

scheduled appointment, so we decided to call.

Our administrator tells us to hang on 

because she needs to close the door.

Did I mention how well our conferences had gone?  

My heart just sunk to my stomach because 

it's never good news when the boss needs

to talk to you behind closed doors.  

She gave us the news that our school board

is considering closing our little school.  

Never in a million years did we see that coming.  

We had been told that we were safe for another year.  

I was instantly sick to my stomach because 

we had assured at least six parents 

that we would be open next year.  

All of the teachers will still have a job somewhere in 

the district .... we just won't know where. 

You remember all those snazzy pictures I shared at the first of the year?

You know .... the ones that showed off our personal library?

The personal library that contains over 6,500
books and will probably need to be moved?!

Yeah, that one.  I'll be calling for help.

Sister Two already graciously offered,

but she was quick to say that she wasn't

taking any classroom pets home.

Just when I thought the night couldn't get any worse,

it became obvious that Skippy Jon Jones,

our fat, decrepit, but lovable poodle was dying.

 

I wrapped him up in a towel and held him.

He's old and this wasn't completely unexpected,

but still ... that compounded the crumminess of the night.

But you know what really put me over the edge?!

Sister Two's post about the old maple tree.

That was just more than I could take.

It was kind of like losing Grandma Hall all over again.

Incidentally, Skippy died just after midnight.

The up side is that he didn't suffer and lived a long life.

The even "uppier" side is that the ground is no longer frozen!

Long time no write

Hi. Just wanted to take a minute to say hello. My old roommate Janet introduced me to facebook, so I've been wasting way too much time on it and neglecting my two sisters. 

It was a sad day on Saturday because I had to take our little Maggie cat to the vet to be put to sleep. 

 

I thought she had an abscessed tooth because she was drooling, but it turned out she had a tumor in her mouth instead. I didn't expect to be so sad because she was totally old and I knew she was going to die one of these days, but it's very weird to not have her around anymore. 

I can't write something without posting pictures of my kids -- so here are our newest spring pics:

The ones above are in a field of daffodils near the arboretum in davis and the ones below are in the vineyards in St. Helena where mustard flowers grow wild.  

Love you all! Hope everyone is doing well!